what now?

my brain is exhausted. 

i'm trying to think of another word to describe what happened, but exhausting is all i can think of. but also, awful, stressful, hurt, with no which way to go. this is where i'd run home to mom, bury my head in the sheets and call it a day. the motors in my head seem to be jammed as it's taking twice as long to figure out a complete sentence. how am i supposed to survive with all these things being thrown at me at once? this, then that, then that - i'm drowning. c'mon, throw me a bone here. how can one expect me to be positive about this? after i would have killed someone for that opportunity. i got it, pat me on the back, just to get thrown under the bus and i'm expected to be completely understanding about it. people these days need to use their brains, and put themselves in other peoples shoes more often. see how it feels on the other side of things. because then, i think things would be a lot different.